The Basics of Boosting Your Confidence: ‘…and Death Came Third!’ 10th Anniversary celebration

Ten years ago, in 2006, Peter Roper and Andy Lopata published the first edition of ‘…and Death Came Third! The Definitive Guide to Networking and Speaking in Public’ on Bookshaker. The book was a big success with over 2,000 copies sold in the first 48 hours alone.Panoma Press published the second edition in 2011 and negotiated a separate edition published in Malaysia and Singapore.

We have consistently been amazed by the affection held for ‘…and Death Came Third!’ by many readers, reflected by the emails and comments we have received from people from a range of backgrounds. The book focuses on the basics of networking and presentation skills, giving readers simple approaches to working the room at networking events or giving their first talk.

To celebrate this, we have got together with our network to provide a series of short ‘Basics’ blogs. Over the month of September Andy, Peter and Mindy Gibbins-Klein of Panoma Press will share a guest blog every day exploring the basics of business, from the basics of confidence and attitude to negotiation and strategy. We have also made the Kindle edition of this excellent book just £1.99 or $2.99 throughout September, so if you haven’t read it yet, get your copy now!

Today’s post comes to us courtesy of Eilidh (pronounced Ay-lee) Milnes, who is a confidence coach and Fellow of the Professional Speaking Association of the UK and Ireland, along with Peter, Andy and Mindy. Also known as Captain Positive, Eilidh works with top leaders in business and education to make them more resourceful and to make them smile.

Confidence! We all have it; lose it; and want it back!

Loss of confidence can stop you from achieving your goals, finding happiness and leading a stress-free life. The secret to unlocking your success lies in understanding why your life is in stall mode. And it all starts with confidence.

Intelligence helps, qualifications are useful and good looks are a bonus, but your greatest asset is your self-assurance. The reality is that many people focus on all the wrong stuff. They dwell on mistakes and see failures, rather than chalking up setbacks to experience.


Opt to encourage with positive statements. Why? Because positivity has magic powers! Be kind to your friends, your family your peers. Encourage them with genuine words of praise. Look for the good in all situations

Affirmations have been around for centuries and I can’t think of a single self-help book that doesn’t touch on the subject. So create affirmations to focus on what you want.

And smile! As research proves that people with a good positive attitude and who smile and laugh a lot, also live longer. Perhaps you feel I am stating the obvious? However I’d argue that from the number of glum faces I see every day in companies and car parks that many people are either ignorant or ignoring this truism. Programme your mind to think happy thoughts and curl your lips up not down is the step to boost your daily confidence quotient.


Enthusiasm is much more important than intelligence when it comes to thinking upbeat. So get excited about your life. Thinking this way creates positive energy, so from now on be very careful what you think about.

Sometimes things do go wrong, you may dwell on your actions and question your abilities. It is then that the tide goes out and the character comes in. If life isn’t flowing smoothly there’s almost always an opportunity to either change activity, invest more energy, or get excited about improving things.


So many people make lists of things to do that it has almost an obsession. They have lists for everything from shopping, work and social life. When was the last time you had a completely clear list-free day? One way to make more time is to create a halt list – a list of things you are going to stop doing e.g.

•       Stop saying yes when you really mean no,

•       Stop being late,

•       Stop forwarding unnecessary emails,

•       Stop unnecessary meetings,

•       Stop pity parties i.e. spending time with negative people.


Don’t forget: the Kindle edition of ‘…and Death Came Third!’ is available for just £1.99 or $2.99 throughout September. Get your copy now!

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